Elkodramaticus

Author

The curious will find a full account of the interaction between the use of toilet paper in Chalakanesia and the development of that archipelago's intellectual life in a scholarly tome called 'The Scatological Flaw: An Ethnopsychological Inquisition Into Chalakanesian Culture As Accounted For By Its Toilet Training,' by Pan Elkodramaticus (the Ethnological Press of Chan Molest, Belta 2289). For our purposes, it is sufficient to note that there was toilet paper; that it was in rolls; that Heineman counted those rolls; and that their number was two and one half.
Since Chalakanesians have not yet learnt that human anatomy is designed to excrete at the squat, Heineman's toilet was further curious in that it consisted of a seat set high upon a hollow pedestal. The seat was actually not a proper seat at all. Instead, it was a broad horseshoe-shaped rim capable of sustaining the buttocks without impeding the excretory functions, and it was hinged so it could be raised or lowered, for reasons which the scholarly Elkodramaticus has seen fit to write upon at length.
If you have a profound interest in the excretory functions, then you are invited to indulge yourself by reading the pages of Elkodramaticus. Suffice it to say that, having counted the toilet rolls, Heineman used a spare unlit candle to raise the seat (the broad horseshoe-shaped rim), and checked the underside of the seat and the top of the hollow pedestal for poisonous spiders. There were none. [NoP Ch1]


Category: oolpeople
Tags: nop ool

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